God loves family. We see the idea of family come to life in the book of Genesis. And throughout the bible, God speaks highly about two core areas of family: marriage and parenthood. But with family, there will be times of laughter and joy, but also of hurt and disagreement. After all, a family is a unit of individuals with their own identities. I, myself went through a terrible ordeal within my family a few years ago. The issue still causes some conflict now during certain events and holidays. In my opinion of course, a situation that could more quickly had begun to heal continued to take on new life every time the relative wanted to relive the day, spread the word to others, and make attempts to get their point across. It was bad.
Outside of the initial hurt, the hardest part about it all was not speaking my peace about it. Not telling my side or being able to speak against every lie about what had actually taken place or even lead up to that moment. It was torture within myself. As you too may have experienced before, the more times a story is told, the more new versions begin to exist. Some things will be added, while others will be taken away.
Truly, I only spoke part of my peace when I was directly confronted in person by other family members. All other times, I tried to win the battle on my knees in prayer. It was hard. And two years would pass before certain family members would later apologize for choosing sides, taking part in gossiping, or even becoming evolved in a matter that didn’t directly affect them instead of praying for us.
It always amazes me how so many people speak about the importance of raising children the right way (Proverbs 22:6) or children obeying their parents so that they may live a long life in the land. But rarely, does anyone discuss parents not provoking their children to anger (Ephesian 6:1-4). This principle is important too. But, when I got the revelation of forgiving people who may not ever apologize, it was life changing. It allowed me to take the power back from whomever in whatever situation.
A traumatic story that I’m reminded of is that of Joseph and his brothers and how even he was able to forgive them.
Family Feud
Joseph was the son of Jacob. His family lived in Canaan. He was one of twelve sons. Ten were older and one was younger. His mother had passed away during the birth of his youngest brother. He was the favorite of the sons and his brothers knew it. Jacob adored Joseph’s kind spirit and innocence. One birthday Jacob even gifted Joseph a special rob with colors of the rainbow that made the brothers extremely jealous and hate Joseph all the more. The feeling of hate was like a blazing fire inside of them. It was so intense that one day some of the brothers plotted to kill him.
They were out in the fields tending to the flocks when they decided to turn on Joseph. However, there was conflict among some of the brothers about actually going through with it. So, they only striped him down and threw him into a well while they pondered over his ultimate fate. Surprisingly, around this same time, a camel caravan of Ishmaelites coming out of Gilead was observed. It was carrying spices and perfumes to Egypt for trade. The idea then came about for Joseph to be sold into slavery. The traders paid twenty pieces of silver for Joseph and went on their way. The brothers then took Joseph’s coat back to Jacob. They smeared sheep’s blood on it and lied that Joseph had been killed by wild animals. Their father was devastated.
Joseph Forgives
Joseph would endure different hardships while being a slave and imprisoned. Through it all, he never lost faith. A time came when he ultimately gained favor and position in Egypt. Even then, he continuously gave all honor to God. It would be ten years before he would see his family again and his words were this:
“Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt” (Genesis 45:4-8).
Joseph was able to show a different level of strength through forgiving. He had the heart to bless those who had wronged him by being willing to provide them not only with food, but a new home and fresh start. Like Joseph, I too have forgiven everyone. It is key that whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses” (Mark 11:25).
What About You? (Life Application)
Is there anything that you are holding on to that you need to release? A past issue or hurt that needs to be addressed? Let me encourage you to do the right thing. Realize that forgiveness is not for them, but it’s for you. Consciously choose to let go. The person or people who hurt you are living life. If you are carrying those burdens, you’re keeping yourself from elevating to your full potential. Lay those burdens down. Take on the yoke of The Lord (Matthew 11:28-30). You won’t regret it.